<!-- --><!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(http://www.blogger.com/css/navbar/classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-account' content='ca-host-pub-1556223355139109'/> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-domain' content='blogspot.com'/> <!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/17080383?origin\x3dhttp://moon-cross.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> <iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=32336572&amp;blogName=illusion.&amp;publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT&amp;navbarType=BLUE&amp;layoutType=CLASSIC&amp;homepageUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fmicbando.blogspot.com%2F&amp;searchRoot=http%3A%2F%2Fmicbando.blogspot.com%2Fsearch" height="30px" width="100%" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" id="navbar-iframe" frameborder="0"></iframe> <div id="space-for-ie"></div> <!-- --><div id="flagi" style="visibility:hidden; position:absolute;" onmouseover="showDrop()" onmouseout="hideDrop()"><div id="flagtop"></div><div id="top-filler"></div><div id="flagi-body">Notify Blogger about objectionable content.<br /><a href="http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=1200"> What does this mean? </a> </div></div><div id="b-navbar"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/" id="b-logo" title="Go to Blogger.com"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/1/logobar.gif" alt="Blogger" width="80" height="24" /></a><div id="b-sms" class="b-mobile"><a href="sms:?body=Hi%2C%20check%20out%20.matte.%20yours%20truly%60%20at%20matte-latte.blogspot.com">Send As SMS</a></div><form id="b-search" name="b-search" action="http://search.blogger.com/"><div id="b-more"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/" id="b-getorpost"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/1/btn_getblog.gif" alt="Get your own blog" width="112" height="15" /></a><a id="flagButton" style="display:none;" href="javascript:toggleFlag();" onmouseover="showDrop()" onmouseout="hideDrop()"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/1/flag.gif" name="flag" alt="Flag Blog" width="55" height="15" /></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/redirect/next_blog.pyra?navBar=true" id="b-next"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/1/btn_nextblog.gif" alt="Next blog" width="72" height="15" /></a></div><div id="b-this"><input type="text" id="b-query" name="as_q" /><input type="hidden" name="ie" value="UTF-8" /><input type="hidden" name="ui" value="blg" /><input type="hidden" name="bl_url" value="matte-latte.blogspot.com" /><input type="image" src="http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/1/btn_search_this.gif" alt="Search This Blog" id="b-searchbtn" title="Search this blog with Google Blog Search" onclick="document.forms['b-search'].bl_url.value='matte-latte.blogspot.com'" /><input type="image" src="http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/1/btn_search_all.gif" alt="Search All Blogs" value="Search" id="b-searchallbtn" title="Search all blogs with Google Blog Search" onclick="document.forms['b-search'].bl_url.value=''" /><a href="javascript:BlogThis();" id="b-blogthis">BlogThis!</a></div></form></div><script type="text/javascript"><!-- var ID = 24816888;var HATE_INTERSTITIAL_COOKIE_NAME = 'dismissedInterstitial';var FLAG_COOKIE_NAME = 'flaggedBlog';var FLAG_BLOG_URL = 'http://www.blogger.com/flag-blog.g?nav=1&toFlag=' + ID;var UNFLAG_BLOG_URL = 'http://www.blogger.com/unflag-blog.g?nav=1&toFlag=' + ID;var FLAG_IMAGE_URL = 'http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/1/flag.gif';var UNFLAG_IMAGE_URL = 'http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/1/unflag.gif';var ncHasFlagged = false;var servletTarget = new Image(); function BlogThis() {Q='';x=document;y=window;if(x.selection) {Q=x.selection.createRange().text;} else if (y.getSelection) { Q=y.getSelection();} else if (x.getSelection) { Q=x.getSelection();}popw = y.open('http://www.blogger.com/blog_this.pyra?t=' + escape(Q) + '&u=' + escape(location.href) + '&n=' + escape(document.title),'bloggerForm','scrollbars=no,width=475,height=300,top=175,left=75,status=yes,resizable=yes');void(0);} function blogspotInit() {initFlag();} function hasFlagged() {return getCookie(FLAG_COOKIE_NAME) || ncHasFlagged;} function toggleFlag() {var date = new Date();var id = 24816888;if (hasFlagged()) {removeCookie(FLAG_COOKIE_NAME);servletTarget.src = UNFLAG_BLOG_URL + '&d=' + date.getTime();document.images['flag'].src = FLAG_IMAGE_URL;ncHasFlagged = false;} else { setBlogspotCookie(FLAG_COOKIE_NAME, 'true');servletTarget.src = FLAG_BLOG_URL + '&d=' + date.getTime();document.images['flag'].src = UNFLAG_IMAGE_URL;ncHasFlagged = true;}} function initFlag() {document.getElementById('flagButton').style.display = 'inline';if (hasFlagged()) {document.images['flag'].src = UNFLAG_IMAGE_URL;} else {document.images['flag'].src = FLAG_IMAGE_URL;}} function showDrop() {if (!hasFlagged()) {document.getElementById('flagi').style.visibility = 'visible';}} function hideDrop() {document.getElementById('flagi').style.visibility = 'hidden';} function setBlogspotCookie(name, val) {var expire = new Date((new Date()).getTime() + 5 * 24 * 60 * 60 * 1000);var path = '/';setCookie(name, val, null, expire, path, null);} function removeCookie(name){var expire = new Date((new Date()).getTime() - 1000); setCookie(name,'',null,expire,'/',null);} --></script><script type="text/javascript"> blogspotInit();</script><div id="space-for-ie"></div>

Friday, October 6
# 8:24 PM

meow called tis morning to wake mi up.. however I too tired to wake up.. so woke up late.. sigh..

was happy she called.. bt she dun seems happy cuz I overslept.. anyway.. sch sucks.. maths n maths..

went back home.. doin nth bt tinkin of meow meow.. sms her n stuff.. she workin so cant reply.. wanna meet her.. really miss her a lot.. finally she reply say she off work le.. so I called her.. guess I say something tt she dun like again.. sigh.. den she ignore mi again.. wat can I do to stop all tis.. y she get angry with mi so fast n stuff.. sigh..

I feel very pain inside.. wanna find her n listen or talk to her.. bt she ignore…

Kero has quit IRC suddenly.. was tinkin if he went to meet meow.. juz wondering.. dunno wat meow is doin.. she home le ma? She change her shirt for a new one le ma? How’s she with her friend.. sigh.. tink n wry abt her.. oso no use.. she dun even appreciate.. all she tink is I tink too much n stuff.. does anyone noe my feelin?? T.T

She wan freedom.. she wan to b single.. I tink abt it.. n I tell her I respect her.. den she ignore mi.. sigh.. I love her a lot bt I once did a mistake which make her like tis..

Why ppl were nt given chances when they do wrong thing.. forgive n forget is hard..

I juz wish to b with her.. bt it seems impossible.. sigh.. she wan do anything den go ahead.. juz dun ignore mi..

Y muz she always ignore mi n angry with mi.. I try very hard le.. y its stil happenin.. is it the problem on mi or her?

Sigh.. pls.. dun ignore mi anymore.. can we juz like normal friends n talk??

Y I like do everything oso wrong.. sigh..sometimes I tink she got her tinkin.. I can listen n stuff.. bt when come to my tinkin.. she will interrupt.. givin a feelin of nt listenin.. thou she did listen.. however.. she keep wantin my tinkin to b wat she wans.. if nt she juz go angry n ignore mi.. or talk to mi in a attitude way.. of cuz I will give in to her.. sigh.. bt y cant she oso tink abt her n tink for mi.. she nowadays to mi.. is like a queen n wantin wat ever I do to b same as her thought.. she become some how bossy.. however I tink she will change back when she realise it.. anyway I tell her oso no use.. cuz she dun listen to mi.. n ppl onli like to hear good things abt themselves.. I juz dunno y she wan to ignore mi n treat mi like tt..

Hate tis feelin.. juz wan to b her friends.. tts all.. normal like last time when I first met her.. we can talk n stuff.. she oso dun get angry so fast.. guess I juz cant let go of this relationship.. mayb u love her a lot yet I did the wrong thing.. sigh.. I’m juz some useless jerk who she dun wan to forgive..

Meow dun wan talk to mi n stuff.. sigh.. y things always turn out like tis.. all cuz of mi I understand.. if onli I dun exist.. n din met her.. den she wont become like tt.. somehow I tink her changes is mostly cuz of mi.. sigh.. I wont blame on alec.. bt I will blame myself..

So many guys is after meow.. I stands no chances at all.. they r rich, tall, handsome, sweet, understand her better.. meow n them can talk better.. cuz meow n them dun have past.. which create a barrier. Sigh.. I oso wish mi n meow can talk freely.. bt she stil have the past barrier.. I really love her.. bt she dun allow mi..

hate myself for now..i dunno.. y lovin someone is so hard.. juz cuz i did a mistake? sigh..

; wings of hope where are you?___`
Zean aka Tsuki
single
10 march 1988