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Tuesday, June 5
# 8:42 PM

tis is juz some dairy for myself nt for anyone to read....



i dunno y...

i started to quietly walk towards the dark side unknowinly

i'll juz try to write wat i can remember from my head..

- i dun trust ppl for ppl betrayed mi -
seen too much betrayer to start really trust anyone alot.. little trust mayb there..
-i trust u alot.. do u noe tt? i dun trust the guys ard u -

its when u noe ppl ard u r better den u, like stranger, friends, close friends, good buddy..
its time u will feel tt ur girlfriend might get snatch away by them..
even thou she tell u she wont leave u.. u trust her.. bt the guys ard her.. they r stil threat. its nt like u can kill them all.. or they will juz vanish into the air.. they can provide her with the things she wants n need.. bt u cant.. u cant.. how do u expect nt to lose self confidence?... when u r in tis state.. nth will run in ur head except "protect watever u have n dun lose them"..

DO YOU NOE THE FEELIN OF FEARIN OF LOSIN THING U LOVE????

i start to become possesive, selfish n doubt others especially my GF.. y?? cuz there r some guys ard her.. thou they din do anything to her.. bt.. i'm afriad of losin.. i dun wan to lose her..

i'm juz nt good enough..

everyone love competition.. they like to challenge each other.. bt have u tot of those who lose? how will they feel?

mayb u wan ur freedom.. bt will u come to mi sometime n continue on.. so i wont feel neglected?

do u noe 1 week.. its so hard to see u or meet u.. u r mostly in sch or at home.. with study, friends n family..

all i ask for is juz sms which take u onli 1-3 min.. is it really so hard? hard to contact?

too long din contact or have communication.. love will fade.. thou u may tink wont.. bt actual fact is yes it will..

under friends differnt tinkin.. different influence.. do u even noe u have change or nt.. u wont noe.. onli ppl ard u noe.. those who influence will b happier for u have become one of them..

lovin someone is hard.. u need communication, trust n love of cuz


do u realise right now.. wats in ur eyes is tt i'm naggy, i'm restrictin u.. bt do u noe tt u r takin things over serious?
its nt as bad as wat u tink..

do u noe ur sudden change of care n attention.. makes mi alone?

study u say.. can devote to mi.. dun have time.. bt y do u stil have time with ur friend?? y stil can online n stuck on blog or watever n slp late? chat with friends n stuff? y? all tis time.. cant u send mi a sms? its juz a sms...

I"M SELFISH I"M POSSESIVE!!

*smack myself*

my onli light have start to fade.. mayb cuz i took too much of the energy..

its fadin..

Zest Jester is my friend, my imaginary friend.. wonder if he can help mi b strong..

; wings of hope where are you?___`
Zean aka Tsuki
single
10 march 1988